Just get over it!

sometimes you have to take a few steps back to go a few steps forward, when life becomes so difficult. When you think you just cant cope but we can surely we can, Allah said that he would not place a burden more than we can cope with..we have to believe and keep our faith strong in Allah and Inshallah that burden will get easier to carry and eventually you will a way to off load it. Sometimes when we lose hope that is when things do go wrong, because you are losing hope in Allah. Unfortunately if you are depressed you cannot think rationally every small thing is like the end of the world. And this is what I have to keep reminding myself that i must not lose faith or question my Lord but the real test is that I can bear it. My sister said to me that if in your life if you undergo a hardship, and from that event you grow closer to Allah and call on to him then it, the hardship, was for you a test. However ,if a tragedy befalls you and you grow distant from your Lord, from your faith then that trial, that event was for you a punishment.

so in the recent days I have been reading and reading articles all related to deen Mashallah, articles written by brothers and sisters in Islam. I feel that i have learned so much. I read some articles on anger management, which unfortunately due to my daily circumstances something that i suffer from. I was never like this before I was so calm. It stated that your environment can make you this way and it is something that you shoulld change.

Also I am trying to revive the passion for Islam, i want that contentment in my heart, I want that glow back on my face I want to be that women who held on to her beliefs so hard that it didnt matter what people thought because I knew it was for Allah. I will give you one such example. A couple of years before I got married I began wearing the hijaab, from then on i tried to do it properly, i.e i was very strict about who saw my hair, i didnt want to be one of those who took it off for a special ocassion. Now when I got married my dupatta ( head scarf that comes with indian clothes very long and wide and wedding ones are massive!) was very heavy. I told my mum that I wanted to wear hijaab underneath it but she got all panicky no no, if you wear a headscarf underneath the wedding duppata you will get too hot, you will faint blah blah......so how did i over come this.....if she wasnt gonna let me have a scarf that covered my hair neck properly then the only way round it was to bring the dupatta down so that it concealed my entire face...mum was okay with this. I went through my whole day like this only revaling my face to my female friends. My hubs extended family were disappointed they had come all this way and they didnt get to see the bride lol! anyway a lot of people critisced me for doing this saying that we werent in the stane ages, they did not respect the fact that this was something that I felt so strongly about and something i wanted to do!!! My point is despite the times, despite everything i kept my modesty and did not do soemthing i did not believe in,because my imaan was strong then, nothing like it is now. So I wanna take a few steps back and rediscover that woman that i was back then, the one i knew before she became the doormat and hired help.

I want to busy my self with islamic things, i want to show a positive side to Islam to my kids, i dont want them to see a depressed woman with no aim in her life.