Before I ramble i must clarify what a pushchair is it a stoller, you know those things you trap babies in and load any other child and shopping on to!
anyways on the subject of being grateful, i have a lot to be grateful for despite the things that make me fustrated at the moment....but i look forward to happier times. Anyway I am thinking more about my past my teen age years.
when I am with my husband and kids just chilling, I really do thank Allah that i do not have a past that i regret. I'm talking more on the way of boyfriends, drinking etc. I am glad that i was guided back then when these things can be tempting and with no good influences I am grateful those years went without anything happening...or that i never let anything happen. Actually this is not about being Asian or a mulsim just a human thing.
There were many guys who could have been prospectives, but Alhamdulilah i never fell for them or pursude any. I have to share one story with you though. My friend once begged me and another friend to come and meet her two friends (both male) at her village pub. I told her that i did not want to go...you dont have to drink she said ( i wouldnt even have a soft drink from those glasses, but thats jsut me) i told her that the problem was that it just looks bad a hijaabi going into a pub, i trust myself but what if a muslim kid were to see me entering a pub whta would they think? Or non muslims who knew that muslims shouldnt drink.....she reassured me that it wasnt that kind of pub and it was a quiet village pub type restaurant. so in the end i went.
anyways she I met her two friends and one of them was a very good looking dark haired guy! He was tall and had the nicest personality ever, i thought he was really nice. anyways when she was done we headed home in our own ways. when i met her at uni next my other friend and i asked about the two guys, did they say anything about us etc etc..she laughed and replied that the dark haired guy asked exactly the same thing as me and was pestering my friend, apparently he told her that he could not take his eyes off me ...lol! anyways the moral of this story is that i could have easily pursued this but I didnt. When i found out that he was interested that was the end of it for me. I never went with the friend to meet him again and avoided contact period. So I am glad that I can proudly say that my husband is the only man I have ever been with and pray that it always stays that way! Ameen.
12 comments:
Ma'sha'allah, this is great to here. Go strong Sis!!! :-) Your husband is fortunate to have someone like you - wishing you a harmonious life together in this life and the next! Ameen!
Those who know me personally, will know that this boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, concept that is such a common thing these days. I know there are many issues we as Muslims have to deal with these days, but to be frank, its my biggest "pet peeve" or annoyance of those many things that plague us today (not to mention extremists who blow up girls' schools, etc etc). It seems as though whenever I meet new Muslims, I expect them to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I have two Muslim girls that I know here that are in relationships and from what I've been told, all of their friends back home also are involved with people. While I do my best to be kind and like a big bro (they are 4-5 years younger than me) from day 1 (which was when I arrived here in Prague, 2005), but to be honest, while they show respect and love to me, which I'm thankful for, if I knew kids like them at home, I probably wouldn't hang out with them. It can get awkward, if you know what I mean (tried it once here during an outing as we played bowling - never again I tell you! I mean, I have hormones too, but I'd rather not see those in effect!).
The sad thing is, that these kids want marriage, but without the responsibilites and without having to respect the rights spouses have over one another and much of the time (at least the examples I've seen in these 5 years) is that the boy gets possessive and abusive, either verbally or physically in some cases. I know even marriage these things happen, but as you alluded to Sis Queen, it just ruins the future with regrets, especially for the girl I would think - its not her fault in most cases, as they guy may even "promise" to marry her, but after 5 years - and we know many things can happen in that time. Uff, it's just crazy/messed up.
I'll stop here, but again, its just great to here you kept your modesty and after that initial outing (a reluctant one, was noted), kept away from not just that guy, but others until Bhaya arrived on the scene - again, ma'sha'allah! :-)
Great post Sis!
Allah Hafiz for now.
Salam Muslim first, do you have a nick name???
anyways i know what you mean its actually wierd when you come across someone that actually feels so strongly about pre marital relationships....good to have you on board!!!
I know the kind of guys/gals you are talking about, so many promises made and then they go home and marry the person mummy has chosen. It is a very testing time for you men I know, so my husband informed me...but stay strong and inshallah you will have a wife that is not only pious and intelligent, but beautiful and with the greatest personality ever,( just like my hub...lol Im JOKING before you think im such a big air head)....anyways and you will be so grateful to Allah that you waited!!!!
Mashallah! I seriously admire women who have not let shaitaan take control of them. I wish so much that i had been as good as you!!
Your husband is one blessed man, alhamdullilah!
Wa alaikum as salaam Sis - (this is the ex-aneebaba - I'm just trying to get rid of it online though, as its very close to my real name - well part of it, as to not give away who I am so much). Yes, not only is it those type of guys, but the entire concept has become the norm - even my khala in London says, its normal not only to be in these relationships, but also to live together (!). Sadly, the two people I've mentioned in my first comment, are doing this (I don't like to point this out, and I know its not good to point out the negatives in our fellow Muslims, but in fact to hide them, but I guess its still shocking to me). Even when we are at the movie theater to catch a Bollywood movie together, my khala will point out Muslim couples that are also there and tell me that they are also dating (some of these girls are wearing hijab too!).
I'm no angel or "goody good" person all the time of course, but its just so sad to see. I am very protective of my cousin-sisters (= sisters, especially since I'm an only child) and just adore them, so even those that I meet, I feel the same way, but of course, I'm not going to have the same influence or long-term effect on their lives when they are not related to me. Also, I can't tell how others to live, but I just pray that someday they maybe come to their senses a bit before their hearts are broken and one that I met here, but has since shifted to another city, did in fact come to her senses alhamdulillah.
Anyways, thanks for the encouragement and yes indeed it is a testing time for us males! Bhaya knows what I'm going through then! Lots of respect to you Sis Queen!
PS. Fooey, just saw my typo in first comment - it should be "hear" instead of "here."
The whole pushchair was uber random lol.
@AlabasterMuslim - don't think it was THAT random, I think it was just to clarify from the previous post and the reference there. Also, another term used for strollers/baby carriers is "pram." Just thought I would mention that :-)
salam alabaster, heheh hope ur okay, hope ur hub is better. check out my previous post comments then you will understand the random pushchair blogging lol!
when you commented on the last post as muslim first I thought that you were a sister and didnt realise it was you lol!
how long have you left till you complete ur course? I think i shall start looking for a girl now!..Aunty aur uncle koi achise ladki, bhai ke liye dundo...jaldi!
Yeah it is very common here in uk, and i agree with you its sad, i always think if things are like this now what is the future for my kids, it scares me. pray that Allah Keeps them on the right path. And yeah that pushchair thing was not a random comment it was from my last post 10 out of 10 for observation and memory!
Sis Queen! - hahahahahaha you are not the first to mistake me for a sister - online I mean - I thought my little picture here would show that I'm a bro, but anyways . . . I have to admit, I'm in atight place study-wise ,but insha'allah if I can survive these next few months, I will finish my course in June 2011. You're so funny and sweet - yes, ji han - aap ke madat chaiya ladki doonde mein! Agar zyaada log honge mere "behn network" mein, thora aasaan hoga ladki milne mein, hai na? :-P
Aww, yes its scary to raise kids in this climate, both on the general scale as well as within our own community, whose values are being lost more and more - as if there is not shame about doing it.
Hehe, my dear Sis, you're an 11 out of 10 for me, for being so kind, open and understanding ma'sha'allah and for MY bhaya - you should be 20 out of 10 in his view!
as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah,
wow sis, that is really good of you to have stayed strong to not follow temptation!!
it is tougher times now with societies straying more and more but may all of us Muslims be able to raise children who will be strong like you to have avoided the temptations!!
Dang! Salam.
I agree with your post. I also feel pretty privileged to be raised in the enviroment I am raised in. I don't think I have done anything too bad (that sounds very subjective and could be seen as horrible in someone elses eyes...I guess I mean myself relative to the other Muslim kids at school who you would have no idea were Muslim!)
However, I do want to say that, even those who live in an environment where you stay away from these things, its really easy to fall into minor sins. You really do have to be careful and constantly reflect if walking down the hall with some girl after journalism can end up having a very negative affect on your deen. :)
Now it sounds really silly typing that...
how are you by the way! I'm well, me and my friends are doing this really cool thing, check it out when you have time:
www.arcnp.org
wsalam.
Muslim Kid (yer buddy Faique)
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