Assalamualikum,
some time ago I made a journey back home to my motherland. It was really nice to get a break from cold bitter UK weather! anyways I love bangladesh, it is in my view a lovely country. There are Niqaabis, hijaabs and women who are modestly clothed but do not wear hijaab. I am glad that my country does not impose any sort of hijaab police, forcing people to wear hijab for all the wrong reasons and in turn hating what is a peaceful religion.
It does make me laugh though about the outlook some natives have on hijaab. For instance i came across many cosuins and women folk who donned the full garb, Burqa, hijaab and niqaab. So far so good. this was all put on when leaving the house for shopping, visiting family friends etc. The bit that amused me was when these women folk actually reached say the home of their relative, friend etc, everything came off, and outfits with all its bling were in full exposure. Even the hijaab was loosened and replaced with a duppata ( scarf ) rather like the one below...and in some cases no hijaab at all!!!
Okay I am not perfect I do not wear niqqaab at all and the jilbab is just another form of covering for me. I just wear the hijaab and i dress modestly. I found it wierd that these ladies went to that extent of covering and then uncovered in front of non mahrem men...wierd? they look down on us for what they think is bad i.e stepping out the house without being wrapped head to toe in black. I am not perfect but i know not to uncover and show my hair to non mahrem men.. Some of them found it incredibly wierd that i did not show my hair at all during my time there ( the place was full of men..and the people that found it wierd were the men!
And check this out, One night i hadnt realised but a tuft of hair had managed to escape from underneath my hijaab ( i Had one of those caps and then a scarf on top and still!!!) anyways a male memeber teased me..."oh my GOD your hair is sticking out, ive seen ur hair!" CRISIS sort of thing laughing away, i hurried to try and fix it..... he continued to say Your hair is straight right and it is nice ( mashallah) ..... I just smiled and didnt say anything back and thought to myself yes the very reason your not supposed to see it. This guy had gone on at me about my hijaab and how i had it on 24/7 so it was like victory for him to see those strands ...whatever!
16 comments:
As salaamu alaikum Sister Queen! Great post - sad though that those Sisters cover up, only to take it off; as I was reading, I was thinking its ok in front of family and other ladies, but then when you said non-mahram men - whoa! No point in doing that really, might as well just dress modestly without hijab and keep it that way throughout the day, no?
Uff, that guy going on about your hair! Sheesh, I mean if he saw it at first glance, he should then just look away and not make any comment, that's for sure (talk about an awkward moment, for you at least, though it should have been awkward for him too)
Glad you had a good time in the motha'land, hehe. I've been to Pakistan and India to visit family, but would be nice to visit the, um, 3rd "piece" (sorry, political/history joke, but couldn't resist!) of the subcontinent. Ma'salaam / Allah Hafiz!
The way some people act can really drive me crazy. Especially something like that. But Mashallah, its good you kept yours on and didn't let anyone, even your male family, pressure you doing something haraam. Good job Queeny lol.
salam aneebaba, I completely agree with you "might as well just dress modestly without hijab and keep it that way throughout the day,"
He did not feel awkward at all, rather ha i saw ur hair kinda of thing!
We have relatives in Gujrat but not pakistan...is that where u are from?
i did not get ur message throug google message.
take care
Salam Alabaster,
keeping on a hijaab all day can be so fustrating! but i guess it is all or nothing! love ya!
Salaam Sister.
Your post is so true about most muslim countries and their concept of hijaab. I think when one practices Hijab in the west, she really understands the idea behind it and all the rules that comes with it. However, in those countries, it is more cultrual thing then it is an islamic thing. So for them, if a man here or there caught a glimps of their hair then it is ok lol.
Salaam Sr. Queen - Also, maybe, a similar issue is when a woman may start wearing hijab after marriage, when they previously didn't - yes it is probably because the husband has told her to do so, but even then, as long as she is dressing modestly I would think its respectable and then, if she, of her own will, decides that it's better to put on hijab, then good for her. Any thoughts on that Sis Queen?
My family in India is from Bangalore(father's side) and from Bangalore in India (mother's side). I've made trips to both and usually in one trip; it's interesting, because I feel at home in both places - in one, I have many family members and the other, all those around seem like family.
@Muska - That's nice that you have a good opinion of Sisters in the West, and while that may be true for the most part, really, only Allah (swt) knows why a sister is covering up - out of Imaan or just for the sake of fashion or culture, but yes, I too, feel that many American Muslim Sisters are a good example, some even choosing hijab when their parents object, due to concerns for their safety since 9/11.
Sis Queen - I had sent a private message via the Google friend connect (the same tool we use to follow blogs, but guess it didn't work, since we are not "friends"). I just said that the only non-mahram Sisters that I interact with are close family friends and they are . . . . .BANGLADESHI! :-D Thus, mentioned that I automatically have a soft spot for ya! hehe. Don't worry, I'll evaluate you based on your character and blog posts, hahahaa, and not your nationality! More importantly, as they are the only girls outside of family (though the 3 of them treat me as their own bhaya, and with their parents consent, I'm am the only guy allowed to be around them at their home, which humbles me so much). The two elder ones (the eldest being my age) are married alhamdulillah and the younger in high school. The reason I bring this up, in addition to my love for them, is that they all wear hijab and are great examples for me as Muslims and of course, as Muslimahs to those around them. Thus, we still keep the limits of Islam, yet still enjoy the level of comfort that siblings would, sharing each others ups and downs, praying for each other, etc. As you may have seen at the top of my blog, that Ayah from Surah at-Taubah about how we are Protectors of one another and of course, having the love of each other for the Sake of Allah. So not only do I love them from my heart as sisters, but as fellow Believers that are a great example for me of Muslim women. May Allah (swt) Bless them and all those who carry good, modest hearts wherever life takes them. Ameen.
Thats too bad the guy who was teasing you about your hair couldn't just respect your decision to remain covered in front of him and just let you know you had to fix your hair instead.
Its one thing if he was just like "OMG I see your hair!!" --you can just say "oops" and quickly fix it and then all will be forgotten.
But to go and compliment your hair... like he thought you were going to feel comfortable about that?
i used to see this situation in egypt when i would be flying out of egypt..the women would board the planes headed to europe fully covered but once those doors were shut!! woo hoooo party time. strip off the full covering and underneath lovely european fashion!!
salaams sis
ur tagged!
salam Muska,
Totally agree with you!, forget about seeing just a few strands here and there if they saw their crowning glory in its full beauty it would be totally okay!
Salam aneebaba
Yes definitely I totally respect that, like when someone a non muslim covers their hair to enter a mosque, which i think is so nice! I am talking more about people who seem to know it all and look down on u when in fact it is their out look that is questionable.
you must be a decent guy for a father to allow him around his young girls! I doubt that they would let any old person do that!so respect to you!
@Twizzle
Yeah it was uncomfortable because i felt this guy was really flirting with me during the duration of my stay, which is why i ended up barely speaking to him after the first week.
Salam Jana, just wanted to clarify
u mean in front of men? Oh Lord!
Aww, you are too kind Sis Q. That's very nice of you to say. Jazak'Allahu Khairan. Ma'sha'allah, it's a nice connection/bond that we have, which I am very thankful for.
Oops, I mistyped in the comment about my family. Mom's side was from Patna, Bihar, but all left. One khala in Karachi along with children and extended family.
yes queen...in front of everyone on that plane then in the airports in europe!! once their husbands kissed them goodbye at the airport..it was on to bigger and better things for them! i used to be amazed.
hmm...I dont take Hijaab...but wear full clothes...I can see girls wearing hijaab but at the same time wearing sleeveless...which at all not go wth hijiaab...
whatever...i like your post.
@Aneebaba lol, yes i did get confused about when you wrote about where your parents were from. I think its nice that you have family in both parts!
@Jana
OH MY LORD!!!! that is so wierd!!!!! I cant get over it!
@Thinking
No one is any less for not wearing the hijabb, that was not my point, it was that the people actually thought that was correct hijaab and would look down on me (us) for not wearing niqaab!
Salaam sis. I was in India in 2006 and was still a very new muslimah (convert you know) but wore hijab from the beginning. I was CONSTANTLY told (by sign language, I don't speak Urdu) to take off my hijab. The place was FULL of non-mahram men. I would just shake my head no and go about my business. :-)
Although none of the women observed proper hijab inside the house when they went outside, same thing. Head to toe coverage masha'allah. I did not wear abaya at that time but would wear long skirts and kameez. In the house one day I wore some blue jeans and a longish t-shirt with long sleeves (something I would NOT do now!) and the old woman told my then-husband..."Tell her to cover!". I found that funny as all her daughter in laws had bare arms and only a dupatta halfway draped on their head. :-)
Ma salaama...
salam umm aminah
Salam sister!
yes thats just about 'wraps' it up dont you think? lol!
this was exACTLY MY POINT! they look down on you for something that they think is so wrong, when they are barely covered!
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