Im back!

salaam mualikum,
hey everyone hows it all going? missed writing, actually i have been away on holiday, if you can call it that. I went to visit my homeland and i have a piece of advice for anyone planning a trip back home, do not go with your entire inlaw family....not a good move.

my sis in law singlehandedly managed to wreck my holiday...i wash my hand sof her...apparently she takes things out on me because she knows she can and i will still be there, is that a reason to take advantage of someone to hurt someone i dont think so.

im struggling really badly with my life at the moment, my inlaws, my own family i just want to take my kids and run. Im sick of people using me as a punch bag... i will write indepth in my private blog...and speak freely.

hope everyone is okay, by the way my last post was supposed to be based on my father and mother inlaw!

Shocking :Elderly man and woman in time warp

It has been reported that An elderly man and his wife
were shocked to find out that they were living in the

twenty first century. After questioning it seems as the couple were stuck in a time warp and had no idea that it was almost 2010. When questioned the elderly man in his seventies he answered that he had been oblivious to the changes surrounding him until he had been forced to attend the wedding of his friend, MR Akhtar, there he was shocked to find people enjoying themselves, the realisation come to ahead when he saw the daughter in laws of his friend Mr Akhter completely happy and at ease, he learned of her lifestyle and was in disbelief. Apparently he was told that she had her own life and did what she pleased. Akters daughter in law also enjoyed complete freedom in terms of raising her kids and shared an equal relationship with her husband. Akter's daughter in law also disclosed that she had her own space and her inlaws were happy with that setting. the latter seemed to trigger a shock and the the elderly man and his wife have been taken to hospital to recover. Doctors have said that this is not the first case of its kind. Dr Iknowitallandimasian said "I have treated many people who have had this syndrome known as the wewillmakeourdilslifehellitus ( pronounced we will make our daughter in laws life hell itus ) this syndrome is often contracted when a son in a family is married. Studies have shown that it is very predominant amongst Bangladeshi Sylheti families."

Doctors have stated that the man and his wife are stable and have been said to be making good progress.

reported by Iam .A. Joker

My ..what a birthday!

so what a day its been so lovely....i woke up to receive endless kisses from my kids and hub!My hub had taken the day off and suggested we go out somewhere nice.... Mil and fil agreed and told him to make sure that he spoilt me rotten! My inlaws got a beautiful salwar kameez for me, they know what i like and it was beautiful. Having dropped one of the kids to school we spent the day togther, I had a facial done, ny hair done ( islamic shop of course) endless presents,shopping, eating and more getting spoilt. At the end of the evening my hub made a lovely dinner for the two of us and the inlaws had kindly opted to babysit the kids whilst we had some time alone, we were joined by them at the end of the evening and guess what they had a lovely fresh cream cake just for me!!........REALITY CHECK!!! shouldnt let me daydream like that so how did it really go....

Hub had a go at me for throwing out stuff which i presumed was rubbish and seemed extremley annoyed. He had spent the previous day running around his family and came home with headcahe. i went upstairs to put kids to sleep ans started watching the drama "my family" little one was being a menace. hub came up and i left him with kids went down stairs and as i entered the kitchen i smelt freshly cooked rice...oh shit! i had forgotten to put the rice on, you see it is my duty to make sure tha the rice pan is a bottomless pit to everyone else. you could cut the tension with a knife. i say to my mil..oh you cooked rice, she looked at me with killer look and said ...was there any more rice to eat????? i explained that the lil one wouldnt sleep and left the room...i was so upset, I forget to put the rice on once and i am made to feel so guilty. i could feel my eyes starting to water.

i contemplated not eating i felt that i wasnt entitled to that rice, but hunger was getting the better of me so i went on the internet for a while, then headed back to the kitchen 10 mins later tidy up....and then can you believe she very calmy told me to eat, wow! she must have thought over how she had reacted. My hub did want to take me out but due to time constraints and inlaw questioning, he did however buy me some lovely gifts. so not all was bad!

Another year

Happy Birthday to me....
yes i am a year older...and yes it hurts to be a year older, cuz im still in my silly rut!

but i guess Alhamdulilah i am grateful for what i have....

still living with inlaws...check
inlaws still a pain in the backside...check
still living in one bedroom kids and all....check

i guess it could be worse, i could be one of those dils who had control freaks for inlaws...oh my God how stupid of me ..I am!

make up ....false eye lashes and coloured contacts

I have asked this question to a fellow blogger and i did get a clear answer but there is another aspect that i have been thinking about.

False eyelashes being haraam to wear other than for your hub. is that in light of all make up being for ones husband or is false eye lashes a different aspect altogether?

i mean i know some sisters will say that you shouldnt wear any make up outside the house. then there are sisters who were subtle make up and then there are the not so subtle ones. to be honest here no body would even bat an eye lid if a sister is wearing eyeliner, and light make up, of course anykind of extreme make up does attract attention.

my point is mascara makes eye lashes fuller and longer and can look like false eyelashes, so in that case isnt it the same as false eyelashes... or is it the fact that i have heard that false eyelashes are haraam is because you are adding hair on to your eyes same as wigs.

if anybody has anything interesting on this point plaese let me know.

also what is your opinion on coloured contacts, is that an extension of make up or something should not do.

discipline answer

okay the kid that hit me ........with his bag...
thank you for sharing what you would have done and it was interesting to read what you would have done...its funny how each response made me think about my actions, maybe i was harsh, i did right, maybe i wasnt harsh enough!

what did i do..... well i very firmly and sternly with my finger pointing towards his face said " do not hit me, i would not have my own children hit me let alone anybody elses, it is not a nice thing" his mother told him to apologise and he wouldnt ....he went to hit me again but this time as he raised his hand i again said very firmy "do not hit me" he didnt ..his mum tried to make him apologise but he wouldnt and i told her to leave it. His mum told me that lately he had become very naughty ...i said to her that i hoped she didnt mind me talking to him firmly, and she mentioned methods to calm him down i suggested reading surahs over him.

you see I am sick and tired of being a doormat, i acted on impulse....do you think i was too harsh?
desert monsoon i think what your grandma said rocks!!! kids need to know when they are doing wrong....had the kid been battering his mum up i would not have batted an eyelid..but he HIT ME!!! ( now i sound 5 )

discipline

ok please be completely honest with me!

picture this you are picking your child from school, your muslim friend whom you know just from school and arent the bestest buddies, stops to say salam and for some unknown reason her child lashes out at you and hits you for answering his mothers salam....would you do? how would you have reacted on impulse?

A) you smile and think nothing of it

B) you smile whilst hiding the fact that if you could get your hands on the rascal he would never dare lift a finger to anyone

c) you reprimand him, tell the child that was not the correct aprroach

D) hit the child with the same instrument he used to hit you.

E) something completely different ( plaese state what you would have done though)

so what would you have honestly done?